First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm too high and old for this...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
