she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
