Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
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