So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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