8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
barbara walters just said penis...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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