Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
