you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
