This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize