Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
