please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
We got so high we made milksteak
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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