The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
