his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
