I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
