I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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