I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
