We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
