I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
