Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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