do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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