we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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