Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
