dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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