im having a threesome with these popsicles
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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