but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I want to fling myself into the sun
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
