you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
