Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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