Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
