But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
