This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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