he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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