"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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