I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
