I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
