Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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