so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
