apparently the secret to your success is patron
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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