I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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