I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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