im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
