I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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