I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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