why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
