i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
