She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
