Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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