This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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