he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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