I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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