He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize