just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
