Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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