I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
...so i touched it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
