He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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