Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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