I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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