I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
