Your tits are I can't wait for
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
