is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize