A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
