Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
