Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
