we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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