and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize