It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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