At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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