k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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