I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
